Dear girlfriends,
I am writing this letter not only to speak to you, but also to myself on the way of becoming a more confident and self - loving person. Especially to my dear close friend.
To be honest, until this day of my life, I am still struggling with my confidence, plenty of time I doubted myself, even right now, about my ability to achieve things. And they are not only huge things or huge success, but also tiny daily life challenges like, how to pass a test, how to convince people, how to feel proud when I wear clothes that are different from everybody else without worrying about them mocking.
It is hard to achieve that and become totally accepted to ourselves as who we are, how we look, and our own characteristics, as not everyone was born in a perfect enviroment, have 100 percent supportive parents and friends. We all been through something, as for some people, their hardships come from not being raised in a right way, some come from memory of being bullied, some come from their disability, and so on. And the ultimate thing is, not everyone itself is perfect.
Everytime I started doing something new or want to try out a challenge ahead, being lack of self - confidence does stop me to shine, to give all I have, and to perform the best. "How do I have to act" and "How do people usually act" are the 2 questions at the back of my mind all the time, and that stops me from being who I am, either showing my opinions or all the best of me. I failed numerous time being like that, and I want to change, not to be more accepted in a way, but to not feel regretful for not giving my best, also to be authentically me without being fake.
Especially in this society, being a girl, a women is somewhat a disadvantage, and the fact that there are stupid scale for the beauty, also moral standards that women "must have" existing still nowadays is unfair. Anyone being in any shapes, with any personalities, and in any region deserves to be appreciated, loved, and treated in the right way.
But, I supposed, even if the world is against you, even when it is hard, unfair, you still need to love yourself more, appreciated yourself more, and treated your self nicer.
First of all, it means to accept yourself as who you are, whether it is bad or good traits that you have. I was told a lot about being a nerd, being slow, indecisive, too straight forward, too "simple" all the time, up until now. But there is nothing wrong being like that, people will talk like you should be more this and stop this. The truth is, we all have reasons why we act like that, it comes from personalities that we borned with, or our belief and opinions, or the way we were raised. And why have to change while we can find some way to display those traits, if it doesn't cause damage too much for anyone else. Because everyone belongs to somewhere, and believe me girls, you will get to it, somehow.
So that leads to the second mean of ways to love ourselves, it is to forgive ourselves. We all make mistakes, and sometimes, we do hurt other people, especially the ones we love. Accept for those bitches laughing on other's pain, do not blame yourself and torture yourself with negative and regretful thoughts over and over again. If that person matters and cares for you, and really want to have a deeper relationship with you, he/she will forgive you, otherwise, they give up this relationship and left, whether it is friendship, love relationship and so on. In that case, you need to, and you have to forgive yourself, because please understand that any deeper relationship cannot survive without forgiveness, which is one of the most powerful thing I supposed. The only relationship that you need to take care the most is you vs yourself, in order to get further in any relationship by forgiving back, if it is worthy.
That explains why for me and probably most of the people, parents are still the ones that I appreciate the most, beside myself, for the rest of my life. They know you the best, and still love you and accept you no matter what you do, forgive you everytime you make mistake.
Last but not least, loving yourself also means to encourage yourself to find and pursuit your passion, to grab opportunities, to make great things. You do not need no one to encourage you, YOU is the only one who need to do that every single day. I personally find this the hardest one out of three things I told you in this blogpost, because we ought to have confidence, self - understand and courage to do this. As we are all restricted by expectation to be someone, rather than to be us, especially in my place, it is hard to break that limit, image, boundary like, immediately. It will take a lot of effort and will be extremely time - consuming. However, once you have achieved that courage, you will not only be successful, but also accelerate your chance to find a partner who is supportive in everything you want to do.
Because, guess what! It all starts within you, how you view yourself, how you treat yourself, before you expect someone to do the same thing.
So please, love yourself more, which means except, forgive and encourage yourself, commit and stay with yourself. And you will, also I will, find it easier in the rest of this world I believe.
Finally, happy lunar new year, and hope for me and for all of you all the best wishes. In 2017, just love yourself more everyday.
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Last day of 2016 (lunatic year)
Sincerely
Linh
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